My best friend dating my sister
That’s totally normal and healthy and you’re happy for them, but it’s kind of sad for you, and it’s really sad to think of two of the people I’m closest with in the world becoming a little less close to me because their primary person is /will now be each other. It doesn’t to them because when my friend and I were living at our parents’ houses and hanging out with each others’ families, I always went to her house. But she is someone who I would describe as being “like a sister to me” so it is so gross that she is dating my actual sister. Normally we would talk constantly about sex and love and dating, and now… Firstly, I have this super negative primal response, so I told them from the beginning I did not want to be involved, but phrased it more diplomatically as like, “It puts me in a weird position,” which is also very true.
Kind of related, but in the worst part of myself, I’m sure I’m jealous they’ve found love. You know how annoying people are when they first start dating someone they really like and want to gush about them and how amazing they are and they don’t actually really know each other that well yet, so they fill in any blanks with more amazingness?
But after I had been away for like a month, I got an email from my friend saying she hopes I have the heart to forgive her, she flew my sister out on a secret trip to visit her, and they really like each other.Normally, I would call them out on their bullshit, both of them, because that’s our relationship, and now I KNOW when it’s bullshit because I know the person they’re talking about. They’ve been okay but not great about respecting my wishes on that. They live in different regions of the country and also a different region than I do, but had expressed interest in each other, both being cute single ladies interested in ladies. A few weeks later I was about to leave the country for six months so I was having a going away party.But saying, “Actually my sister isn’t as dreamy as you think and here’s why! At the same time it sucks that there’s this very important part of their lives that I’m left out of. I said I didn’t like it, but my sister struck up a texting relationship with my friend regardless. My friend happened to be in town that weekend and was coming.They didn’t necessarily handle it perfectly, but neither did I.I had no claim on either of them and couldn’t really expect them to address the unexpected ways that their relationship made me feel betrayed and lonely and shut out.